Your Resume is No Joke

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of Business School, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"
The applicant said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red Corvette?"
The applicant sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

People do say the darndest things. It isn’t hard to find lists of error-filled resumes and cover letter bloopers. For example:

I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.

Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

Seriously, we’re all capable of making a mistake of syntax, spelling, punctuation or grammar. It’s ok.

OK, that is, except on your resume.

When an applicant submits a resume or cover letter with an error, it clearly makes the wrong impression.

Amazingly, some applicants for executive positions pay scant attention to their resumes, and get little resume help. Perhaps they believe that employers will deduce their merits anyway, or think the competition will be weak, or just dislike the effort of creating one. Almost always, they haven’t thought the process out, for they are moving into heavy weather on a rowboat.

An executive resume is important even if you think you don’t need it and can get interviews through your connections. Why? You can’t be sure when you might require one, and you don’t want to toss it together overnight. A resume also helps you organize yourself and see the full picture of your accomplishments and abilities. Most people take them for granted and may not have them uppermost in their mind at an interview. A resume crystallizes them.

It’s essentially a marketing device. It’s a biography too, but a very special one: brief and almost all highlights.

Think of a professional resume as an argument. Your thesis is: I am the person to hire. I’ll give you the best payoff. The entire nature of the resume flows from that. And you want to get it right. If that means hiring a professional to help you, then don’t hesitate.

Spoken like a true resume writer? Perhaps. I am a resume writer. And I care about these documents, which are among the most important of our lives. After all, first impressions are crucial. Opening with a joke is not the best approach in a resume or cover letter. Save it for after you get the job.

Job Search Company Extends Helping Hand to Barry Bonds

A clever firm is offering Barry Bonds the chance to juice his job search. Poor guy is unemployed. Shimmering Resumes promises to teach him all about the career search process, keep his morale high and develop a premier resume, which will be the best performance enhancer he can get.

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Shimmering Resumes Offers Free Resume and Job Counseling to Barry Bonds

I wanted readers of my blog to get a preview of the release going out on the Wire tomorrow.

Job Search Company Extends Helping Hand to Barry Bonds

San Mateo, CA October 18, 2007 – A leading professional resume writer and career counselor has offered to write a free resume for Barry Bonds.

Shimmering Resumes, which develops resumes for executives and professionals, is concerned about Bonds’s looming idleness and wants to help him end it.

“Even if you are the best in your field, you can still lose your job,” said Paul Freiberger, president of Shimmering Resumes. “Sometimes management and personnel simply part ways. And when that happens, a good resume is the best performance enhancer you can get.

“Why did the Giants cut their fabled star loose?” Mr. Freiberger asked. “Other team executives will wonder, so his resume must quiet these concerns. That’s one reason he needs a professional resume writer. It is simply Career Planning 101.”

Bonds’s very success raises a problem for him, career coach Freiberger said. He can hit a baseball, but he probably doesn’t know much about a resume. He needs a professional resume writer more than a trainer.

The president of Shimmering Resumes said he hopes to meet with Bonds in person and
explain rules of an effective resume to him, such as:

• Leave the employer wanting to know more about him.
• Strip away clutter such as age and health.
• Showcase successes rather than responsibilities. He shouldn’t simply list employers and positions held, such as: “Outfielder, San Francisco Giants, 1993 – 2007.” Instead, he should say, “Significantly improved revenues by hitting home runs. Perennial All-Star.”

In addition to a professional resume, Bonds also needs job interview tips, Mr. Freiberger said. Though experienced and sometimes nimble in the media interview, Bonds risks confusing it with the job interview. Mr. Freiberger offered to take Bonds through the job interview process, revealing classic “curveball” questions and teaching him to hit them into McCovey Cove.

The job search is often dispiriting and Mr. Freiberger also offered his morale-boosting services. A proud performer accustomed to adulation, Bonds may find rejection letters depressing, and Shimmering Resumes will provide the insightful support he needs to keep his spirits high and carry out his normal affairs. This is help he can’t get in the clubhouse or the pharmacy.

Bonds can examine sample resumes and cover letters at ShimmeringResume.com where he will discover much other valuable guidance.

Shimmering Resumes periodically offers its services free to noteworthy public figures facing career challenges. If you are such a person, send a note to info@shimmeringresumes.com.

About Shimmering Resumes
Shimmering Resumes is a nationwide resume writing and career counseling business, a member of Career Masters Institute, with its website at www.ShimmeringResumes.com.

Contact:
Paul Freiberger
President, Shimmering Resumes
(650) 464-0085
Paul@ShimmeringResumes.com

Write Yourself

Most people think about goals casually, turning them over in the mind. That’s not enough. Do this analysis in writing.

Why? The reason is simple: It leads to insight.

First, writing clarifies your thoughts. The very act of externalizing them, bringing them into the light, forces you to focus them. You’ll often find that the idea which seemed complete in your mind has a blurry spot when you try to express it in a sentence, and that spot can be crucial. In fact, that’s why it was blurred. You didn’t know how to fill it.

Writing compels you to support your thoughts so they seem reasonable. The idea that glowed in your mind may look bare on the page, and you may have to provide backing for it. This exercise can save you from dreamy error.

Writing lets you develop your thoughts. The idea on the page is a memory saved, and it frees you to move on to the next one, and the next. You wind up thinking about implications, filled out uncharted territory, seeing and answering questions that may simply have lurked in the semidarkness before. Writing enables elaboration.

And writing lets you return again and again to the process. You rarely divine all your good ideas at one sitting. For instance, scientists have recently found that sleep improves our comprehension of context and problems, validating the wisdom of “sleeping on” an important decision. Moreover, you’ll want to discuss aspects of your career with your spouse and perhaps with good friends, and these ideas can enrich the document as well.

Maybe you’re still reluctant. If so, ask yourself: What is the cost? A little time and the toil of thought. That’s all. Now compare it to the potential upside: A more rewarding, purposeful life, bestowed by greater understanding of yourself and your options. It’s the kind of bet they don’t offer in casinos, because they’d go broke fast.

So answer the following questions and be utterly, even painfully, honest with yourself. Respond fully, with answers you’d never consider showing others. And keep working on it.