Your Resume is No Joke

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of Business School, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"
The applicant said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red Corvette?"
The applicant sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

People do say the darndest things. It isn’t hard to find lists of error-filled resumes and cover letter bloopers. For example:

I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.

Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

Seriously, we’re all capable of making a mistake of syntax, spelling, punctuation or grammar. It’s ok.

OK, that is, except on your resume.

When an applicant submits a resume or cover letter with an error, it clearly makes the wrong impression.

Amazingly, some applicants for executive positions pay scant attention to their resumes, and get little resume help. Perhaps they believe that employers will deduce their merits anyway, or think the competition will be weak, or just dislike the effort of creating one. Almost always, they haven’t thought the process out, for they are moving into heavy weather on a rowboat.

An executive resume is important even if you think you don’t need it and can get interviews through your connections. Why? You can’t be sure when you might require one, and you don’t want to toss it together overnight. A resume also helps you organize yourself and see the full picture of your accomplishments and abilities. Most people take them for granted and may not have them uppermost in their mind at an interview. A resume crystallizes them.

It’s essentially a marketing device. It’s a biography too, but a very special one: brief and almost all highlights.

Think of a professional resume as an argument. Your thesis is: I am the person to hire. I’ll give you the best payoff. The entire nature of the resume flows from that. And you want to get it right. If that means hiring a professional to help you, then don’t hesitate.

Spoken like a true resume writer? Perhaps. I am a resume writer. And I care about these documents, which are among the most important of our lives. After all, first impressions are crucial. Opening with a joke is not the best approach in a resume or cover letter. Save it for after you get the job.